REVIEW: ‘Zombieland’ (2009)

Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) and Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) nut up in the horror comedy, "Zombieland".
Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) and Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) nut up in the horror comedy, "Zombieland".

Zombies, for whatever reason, are a Western Phenomenon. In this writer’s humble opinion, they represent a fear set unique to our Judeo-Christian based culture: they represent the loss of the Ultimate Certainty. In death, we are assured either reward, punishment, or rest. The concept of the zombie robs us of that, instead replacing it with the fear of continuing on as a mindless automaton, existing only to serve the basest needs of survival – all in all, not entirely unlike spending eternity in a corporate cubicle farm.

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REVIEW: ‘Jennifer’s Body’ (2009)

Megan Fox perfectly cast as a hope-eating demon in "Jennifer's Body".
Megan Fox perfectly cast as a hope-eating demon in "Jennifer's Body".

I am not the kind of guy who is easily impressed by feminine wiles. Whether it is from years of marriage or from DJing one too many nights at topless clubs, I’m not sure. Whatever the reason, though, I’m not the kind of guy to cut a woman slack because she’s pretty. Yes, I am the kind of guy who goes to Hooters for the wings and also complains about the service. It should then go without saying that I was NOT looking forward to seeing Jennifer’s Body, the latest vehicle for movie babe du jour, Megan Fox. I guess I’d just gotten tired of hearing innumerable fanboys going on about, “Who cares if Transformers 2 sucks… Megan Fox, dude.” I really didn’t mind the statement so much – it was just all the drooling that accompanied it. I’m sorry, but a pretty face doesn’t make a crappy movie any less crappy. So, as I sat waiting for the movie to start tonight, I dreaded what was coming.

I ended up with some pleasant surprises.

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