REVIEW: ‘The Human Centipede (First Sequence)’ (2009)

Lindsey (Ashley C. Williams) is up to her... eyeballs in trouble in "The Human Centipede (First Sequence)"
Lindsey (Ashley C. Williams) is up to her... eyeballs in trouble in "The Human Centipede (First Sequence)"

Directed/written by: Tom Six
Starring: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura
Running time: 92 minutes
Rated: R

Stupid should hurt. I mean really hurt, like some kind of immediate sharp pain, like someone shoving a cold fireplace poker into your eye and wiggling it around. Stupid should hurt like that. Maybe if we had that kind of response to doing stupid things, it’d save us from a lot of life’s little problems, like discussing politics and religion at the Thanksgiving dinner table, or dating Hooters’ Girls, or electing self-seeking philandering xenophobes to office.

It might have also prevented a lot of what happens in “the Human Centipede (First Sequence)”.

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