REVIEW: ‘Eclipse’

The most boring threesome ever returns in "Eclipse".
The most boring threesome ever returns in "Eclipse".

So, how did we get here?

Let’s track back a few months to the Big Gold Statue Watching Party. TerrorScribes like me are generally not allowed anywhere near polite company so I was relegated to working sound in the projection booth. All in all, it wasn’t a bad gig and I was able to jack into someone’s WiFi and chat with people about the broadcast. It was all pretty mellow until they got to the part of the show where they did a tribute to horror movies.

Then, shit got real.

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‘New Moon’ – A Survivor’s Story

"New Moon" is the latest chapter of "Dummies for Shakespeare"

“These violent delights have violent ends. And in their triumph die, like fire and powder. Which, as they kiss, consume.”
Bella first words in “New Moon”.

“Second verse same as the first.”
“Henry the Eighth” by Herman’s Hermits, what Bella should have said.

I’ve been asked by more than a few people why, as someone who covers the horror genre, am I reviewing any of the Twilight movies since they obviously aren’t horror movies. I ask myself the same thing when watching these movies. I said it before I started watching them that reviewing any of the Twilight films as a horror movie is tantamount to kicking a crippled kid down a flight of stairs. Still, either through accident or intent, the Twilight series keeps insinuating itself into the horror fold, like a little brother trying to tag along with his older brother.

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