PRETTY SCARY 2 REVIEW: ‘Within’

Rachel (Mia Ford) realizes evil may lurk in small shoes in "Within".
Rachel (Mia Ford) realizes evil may lurk in small shoes in "Within".

There are few things in life more capable of scaring me senseless than humans. We are an unpredictable creature from the day we breathe our first breath. Much like beautifully wrapped packages on Christmas morning, you may only guess what’s inside. Ultimately, there arrives a revealing moment when the contents, beautiful or hideous, are presented for all the world to gaze upon. Unfortunately for the human race, there are no exchange counters or thirty day return policies. If only we could see within the packages before we opened them, we might be given a chance to make better choices, thus allowing us to avoid some of life’s ugly little turns.

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REVIEW: ‘The Task’

A bunch of contestants hanging around in "The Task".
A bunch of contestants hanging around in "The Task".
A bunch of contestants hanging around in "The Task".

After having read its synopsis for “The Task”, I was really excited about this film. I thought to myself, “what a great concept” and it was… until someone covered, smothered and strangled nearly every ounce of originality from it. “The Task” becomes a very befitting title for this unnecessarily complicated, concept-wasting, killer of time and patience.

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REVIEW: ‘Hatchet’

Serving up victims cajun-style in "Hatchet".
Serving up victims cajun-style in "Hatchet".
Serving up victims cajun-style in "Hatchet".

I found myself at a crossroads when it came to ”Hatchet”. Part of me wanted to watch it and part of me just knew it was going to be another run-of-the-mill slasher flick. The bored part won out and so I began what was to be an interesting, only slightly predictable 84 minutes, in which some of the funniest lines I’ve heard come from a horror film in a long while.

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The Jaundiced Eye: Oh, the Horror of it All!

Nothing like a good cleansing fire.
Nothing like a good cleansing fire.
Nothing like a good cleansing fire.

“Hollywood needs to burn”, I believe that’s how it was put to me by a very good friend the other night. I completely agree and think we should start the blaze by using some of the latest horror film scripts!

Our conversation started like it usually does, discussing the latest news regarding forthcoming horror movies and inevitably coming round to the “why do they insist on re-making classics”, which then naturally lead us to the debate of “if they’re going to re-make a classic, why must they screw with the original story”? That’s when I mounted out my little soap box and refused to come down for the following quarter hour.

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