REVIEW: ‘Vampires Suck’

Becca (Jenn Proske) and Edward (Matt Lanter) wait in vain for laughter in "Vampires Suck".
Becca (Jenn Proske) and Edward (Matt Lanter) wait in vain for laughter in "Vampires Suck".

There is probably no other movie franchise out there today in more dire need of parody than the Twilight series. From the tops of its sparkly vampire head to the tips of its sullen Mary-Sue toes, everything about the series screams, “RIDICULE ME!” So, it was to my great delight when I found out that someone was going to do just that. There was much joy in Mudville for more than a few of my genre cronies and myself at the news. OK, so it was being made by the same soulless bastards who squeezed out such cinematic rectal prolapses like “Epic Movie”… and “Date Movie”… and “Disaster Movie” ands gods help us all, “Meet the Spartans”. As I’ve said before – and have sometimes have to be reminded – you can’t always judge a movie by the director’s previous work.

Just look at Uwe Boll… O.K., bad example.
M. Night Shamaylan.
Crap.

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