REVIEW: ‘Red Riding Hood’

Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) and Peter (Shiloh Fernandez) play Find the Lycanthrope in "Red Riding Hood".
Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) and Peter (Shiloh Fernandez) play Find the Lycanthrope in "Red Riding Hood".

Four reviews and countless diatribes later, I think it’s pretty safe to say: I hate the Twilight movies and all things like them. I try to be objective about them, really I do. However, there is something about the bloodless, broken, soft-focus style of these films that simply makes them repellent to me.

But these are fantasy films. Their world is protected from my unending scorn by this simple fact. Just like in “Star Wars” or “Star Trek”, the world in these films operates under certain rules and attracts a set of fanatical followers who enjoy the films regardless of their content or quality.

“Red Riding Hood” easily resides in this world.

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REVIEW: ‘Jennifer’s Body’ (2009)

Megan Fox perfectly cast as a hope-eating demon in "Jennifer's Body".
Megan Fox perfectly cast as a hope-eating demon in "Jennifer's Body".

I am not the kind of guy who is easily impressed by feminine wiles. Whether it is from years of marriage or from DJing one too many nights at topless clubs, I’m not sure. Whatever the reason, though, I’m not the kind of guy to cut a woman slack because she’s pretty. Yes, I am the kind of guy who goes to Hooters for the wings and also complains about the service. It should then go without saying that I was NOT looking forward to seeing Jennifer’s Body, the latest vehicle for movie babe du jour, Megan Fox. I guess I’d just gotten tired of hearing innumerable fanboys going on about, “Who cares if Transformers 2 sucks… Megan Fox, dude.” I really didn’t mind the statement so much – it was just all the drooling that accompanied it. I’m sorry, but a pretty face doesn’t make a crappy movie any less crappy. So, as I sat waiting for the movie to start tonight, I dreaded what was coming.

I ended up with some pleasant surprises.

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